A week back home...

This week has been weird.

I've struggled with jet lag and normal sleeping patterns.

I shared lots of chocolate that I brought back from Europe with my students.

Most of them were thankful and appreciative, some not so.

I spent so much time and energy (and money) collecting all those things and carting them everywhere - I kind of wanted more of a reaction.

Like when I gave Nan her gifts. She was thankful. But I didn't get that excitement. Like every single time I was given something from someone who'd been overseas. I was just so stoked that they'd thought of me while they were travelling.

Being back at school has sucked. I just want to keep travelling. But the no money issue is a problem 😂

So I began to unpack this week. Organised my souvenirs and packed my gifts into bags.

The dogs chewed up my remaining Toblerone bars. Gah. There was one good one left that I gave Nan.

A couple of kids stole the Swiss heart chocolates from the tin in my bag while I was having a nap on the beanbags in class at lunch.

People ask me how it was. It's hard to give an answer.

I just keep coming back to the fact that everything is still the same. But I'm not. I've changed. And I'm trying to get my head around it. Because I have this life here too.

Is there two Alex's now? The teacher... And the traveller?

How do I co-exist?

The teacher funds the travellers trips ... That's for sure.

But beyond that - is this life enough for me?

Big questions. Next to no answers.

I guess I just need to prep for my next trip. Plan it all so that I don't feel stuck.

The travel bug bit me hard. 😂😍🌍✈️❤️

#takuhaerenga

Realisation: On way to Guernsey!!!

Wow. Okay so I know it should come as no surprise to me that I'm on this train from Rennes to St Malo, in order to then catch a ferry to Guernsey... But I just got surprised.

I've been wanting this trip section to begin for ages and now that it is - I'm bonkers excited.

Why?

Because I'll finally be on the land where my French ancestors stood. And I'll be able to walk around and visit the urupa and visit the whanau who still live there.

I'm super excited actually.

Things I'm worried about:

- whether this family is as nice as the Le Long's in Warwick
- where to stay if they're not 😂
- being sad if they're not as keen to meet me hahaha

But all in all - I can't let me worries ruin this trip. Because I've wanted this so long. And I deserve it. I can't wait!

Hoki mai toku kainga

Home coming.

The minute I flew over Auckland, I was happy.

When I got to the airport and got my bags - I was happy.

When I made it through customs, only losing my feather :( bye feather - I was happy and sad at the same time.

When I got through the gates and headed out to see my family - I was slightly disappointed. No massive greeting party like the movies. My nan and family were somewhere, possibly parking or going to the toilet.

It turns out it was the latter. And I found them on my way back into the airport.

I got the usual reports of the weather and the drive up and what Nan had been doing the last few days.

No one asked how my flight was. Or what I ate. Or how my trip was. Or showed much understanding that I was tired because I'd just spent the last 24+ hours travelling to get home.

I got a BP Butter Chicken pie, soy hot chocolate and chicken bites for lunch/breakfast/morning tea at 10am. That felt like a nice home coming feed. With my family. In the Autobahn cafe, where they ate from the cafe and I had contraband BP food in the cafe.

I hadn't had a meat pie for a whole month. It was delightful. And just how I remembered it.

There were moments today when I just wanted to sleep - I did. And moments when I literally could not understand how to speak to my family who haven't travelled overseas. My nan is a traveller, of NZ and in her books.

But she doesn't ask me questions. So I felt like I was lost adrift, in the car while she drove. I felt lonely and surrounded with love at the same time.

But I needed to show them where I'd been.

I took out my magnets and showed my nieces and Nan's latest Japanese student. Crystel was a no-show.

I talked in detail about each place and something special I remembered about each place when I gave them each magnet to look at.

Because they're more than just magnets. They're small reminders of time spent in those places. That I lived. That I was there.

I haven't unpacked yet.

I want to do a video about what I packed and what I brought home. And what I didn't actually need. And the souvenirs I got too.

So many pieces of art.

So many trinkets.

So many memories.

And it's all locked up inside my mind and in my heart.

And..  I just got a message from my Parisian friend asking if I got home okay ❤️

Sleep for me. Maybe being back at school tomorrow I'll feel better. With the questions and the discussions about where I'd been.

I'm not going to take my special things for the kids tomorrow. I'll wait a couple days maybe.

Still annoyed that Crystel wasn't there. Isn't here.

I feel different. I'm home. Nothing seems to have changed here. But I've changed. My life is brighter and happier and hopeful. I want to just keep travelling. And never stop seeing the world.

But I need more money. So monotony and then travelling.

Guernsey

Today I found the census records from 1891 for my whanau. It was a really cool moment.

I came here hunting for the whanau I'd met online years ago and I had the best time, however short, with them.

I had an incredible time with the lovely couple I met at the terminal with their godson who had been on the ferry with me. Meeting Zach, Terry and Jo was truly fateful. They gave me rides to and from the ferry, showed me around the island and gave me true island kindness. So blessed. All that good karma from helping other tourists and international students has paid for sure.

As we sail away from Guernsey, I can't imagine what it would have been like for Jean Francois Le Long and Marie Nedellec to leave the home they knew and loved for an uncertain future on the other side of the world.

I feel so connected to that place. Touching the granite - both pink and grey - and knowing Jean Francois's connection with stonecutting and masonry. Seeing the ocean and smelling the sea. ❤️

They had a fair bit of trauma here on their own with the drowning of two of their children in the quarry where the fathers and uncles worked. So I guess it's no surprise that they needed to leave.

Jean Francois' brother Etienne stayed behind here in Guernsey and had a son named Charles Yves and Charles Yves had a son called Charles. Charles then had a son called Francois and had a few beautiful children - my Aunty Theresa, Uncle Dave, Aunty Ann and ...

I finally met Aunty Theresa and Uncle Dave last night. Caught up with my cousin Stacey last night at dinner at Aunty Theresa's and met Jay Jay this morning at the beautiful Terrace Cafe.

I found some time to go to the Prilaux library today and found Jean Francois and Marie Nedellec in the 1891 census records. I knew the date of the census and the handwriting but had forgotten the parish. It's Vale.

Next time I come, I'm going to meet the rest of the cousins and the aunties I didn't get to meet. We will go and visit the graves of the children who drowned, my great great grandaunt and granduncle, Jean Francois and Marie's children.  ❤️

Still, I want to know why Jean Francois and Marie chose New Zealand of all places to leave and start a new life. It was hard work and if they hadn't ever left, I wouldn't be here right now in this ferry leaving Guernsey, wishing I could stay. ❤️

#FullCircle

St Malo

You're sitting on the beach, a sandcastle in front of you, smooth crashing waves soothe your ears.

Children play with their parents on the beach - petanque, soccer, a weird game of four square using a mini trampoline and of course, building sandcastles.

The wind is soft on the skin. Water warm and refreshing at the same time. The houses standing tall on the coastline with a wall protruding from the sand, keeping them safe from the incoming tide.

In the water you are alone but beyond happy. You sit on the beach for a long term before venturing out towards the ocean, in fear of someone stealing your purse with passport, rings and money in. But you see the other beachgoers casual as, happy and relaxed. Deciding to take a chance, you leave the safety of the sand and head down to the water. The Ocean  greets you and bows as you touch it, edging away. Cute dads and their kids, old men in their Speedos, women swimming alone. Safe.

The waves aren't as big as home. They're still fun but not deathly. They are forgiving here. They lift you up instead.

The seagulls caw and the laughter surrounds you

This place is beautiful.

Remember-

Remember the train lady - from Rennes to St Malo - so happy in her job and so stylish too. Her whistle, blond hair topped with a blue cap with a red ribbon and red shoes.

Avoiding Pickpockets

I never take my big purse with me - but if I do - my crossbody bag is inside it. I have locks on most things. I give anyone who gives me the itchy look a long look, smile if need be and it usually removes the anonymous aspect because I've seen their face. When I go out, I take my cross-body bag and keep it in front of me. It has RFID internal pockets so everything that is important - cash, cards and passport if needed - is inside a zipped pocket with lipstick, lipbalm, tissues and coin purse on the outside - again zipped up. I've really loved this bag. I was worried about it's thin strap when in Rome because I'd heard that people go past on a moped ready to cut straps and steal bags. I think most of our Contiki group were pretty aware so that helped too.

Add stories of scams
- cardboard clipboard
- roses
- ring lady by the Seine with her blind daughter

Add stories of near misses
- Char